Friday, October 17, 2008

Mommy Guilt

Please bear with me here ... I think I just need to vent this all out to feel a little better about it, and heck what is a blog for but to let it all out and find some peace and maybe someone else who shares my craziness!!!! It is like THERAPY!!!

If you have been checking in this week you will have read that Jacob has Poison Ivy and that the itching seems to be more intense through the night. So each night he has gone to bed at our normal 9:30pm covered with herb salve and then been up again around 12:30am itchy and cranky so we cover him again and usually read some from Shel Silverstein's, (twisted poetry book) Where The Sidewalk Ends (but that is another post). Taking close to an hour to get back to sleep and then REPEAT again around 3:30am and then up with Sam usually around 6ish.

Well, by Wednesday night I was exhausted, I just wanted to sleep a full night (not that I ever really sleep all night but without these hour long reading sessions each night). So as we were getting ready for bed I told Jacob that if he was able to make it all night without itching that I would take him to the co-op the next day for a treat! Seemed harmless at the moment, seemed like a really good plan to get a nights sleep. We would all be happy, I with my sleep and he with his treat.

At about 1:30am I could hear him rolling around and itching but he never said anything to me like the other nights. So I asked him if he wanted to go put some salve on and he said "yes". So as usual we headed out to the living room and I covered his legs and and scooted back into bed without saying too much. I was close behind BUT had to stop and wash my hands ... Jacob came back out and said "Do I still get me treat?"

Okay, this is when my mommy guilt kicked in and I had an awful nights sleep for the remainder of the night! What have I done... I want my children to be able to express their feeling and be open and feel comfortable to be who they are ... and here with one little bribe I had taken his pain and frustration of this awful poison ivy and sold it away for a silly little treat from the co-op and why? Just because I wanted to get a good nights sleep. What makes me think that as the parent of six children I will ever get a good nights sleep again!

Alright, so I have confessed ... and by the way last night I told Jacob that if he needed anything at all that he could wake me and guess what? He slept all night with NO ITCHING!!!!!


Mamarazzi said...

awww...i love the story. you shouldn't feel guilty since you made a little lesson for yourself out of it. kids are the master teachers sometimes aren't they? and YAY for sleeping through the night.

in answer to your question about good mail (i didn't see an email so i will answer here, i hope you don't mind)

i started Good Mail on my blog with my readers. i just asked who was interested in exchanging good mail. several people responded and sent email with their home addresses. i replied with mine and the good mail began. i usually send a little something out once a month or so. for me ANYTHING that is NOT a BILL is good mail. sometimes it is just a note or a card and other times its a box or padded envelope filled with things i love. but it is ALL good mail. of you wanna play send me an email with your address and i will send you mine. i also recommend that you start it with your readers. i have so many good mail friends that it seems i get something every week. so. much. fun.

(i so wish these comment boxes came with spell check...decipher.)

mommaof4wife2r said...

came over from cute! my kiddos seem to always pull thru when i just say things too. so funny!!! hope the poison ivy is all better!

ThisGrandma said...

I am not/was not a pushover for my kids - but SURE, I think he did very well and should get a treat (maybe a smaller one...;->) BUT he did the best he could !! Glad you could vent your guilt and I hope you let it GO !! You are a great Mom - and having limits or rules and sticking to them is CONstructive of character, not DEstructive.

HeatherPride said...

Aw, bless his heart for trying so hard!! I use bribery all the time but it just does not seem to work with Logan. Currently we are in the "no toys until you sleep in your own bed for a whole week" mode, and he hasn't gotten a new toy since the first of September!! Dang!!

Tricia said...

I'm sending you a hug. You are a wonderful mom and this one little thing is not going to undue all the years you've spent creating a warm, loving and inclusive environment for your children to grow. Chalk it up to sleep deprivation. Really! I don't know how anyone is expected to think clearly on such little sleep and knowing you, I'm quite sure that not only did you turn this into a lesson for yourself, you were honest with the kids and explained what happened and why and they probably got to learn something from it too.

MommyWizdom said...

Bribery is a normal part of life... You shouldn't feel guilty, you're only human after all.

Glad he's less itchy - that poison ivy can be nasty!

Amy said...

Thanks so much for all the kind words -- Jacob indeed did get a treat, matter-a-fact he ended up with three!!!!!

goodfather said...

Yay for no itching!!!

You're obviously a GREAT mom. It's so hard to always know and do the right thing for your kids.

Lisa P said...

Great, great story. Thanks for sharing.