Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Seeking Advice

I am seeking advice about a matter that I thought you all would have some interesting input ...

When I was a child at home the rule was ...

"If there was only one adult in the car, than the oldest child could ride in the front seat"

After speaking to my mom, she says that she developed this 'rule' because nothing else worked!

Here is the problem ... Allyson (2nd child) says this is "Not Fair"

Any thoughts, ideas, comments, suggestions, etc...


Jen said...

We would have to take turns. If I rode in the front on the way there, my sister rode in the front on the way back.

We still do it!

Amy said...

These comments are from my family who don't do the blog thing!

My younger sister says:

"As the youngest I will say honestly it SUCKS, especially when you get car sick every time you are in the car. Basically I started getting the front seat when I started driving, and that is when I became obsessed with being the driver... I think because I never wanted to have to ride in the back ever again.

I say random choosing... flip a coin, whatever it takes. But every time do it, so that way it is random every time and no one is keeping score! It is what it is, NO whining!"

One of my dear friends says:

"We had that rule too. I’m the oldest so of course I think it’s a great rule. I’m also much more authoritarian than you are, and basically I think life isn’t supposed to actually be fair. Younger children get to be humored more because they’re younger. The middle child gets their very own chapter in the psychology books, so maybe it is “fair” that the oldest gets the front seat. After all, we also get to be the guinea pigs.

It all comes out in the wash. Just two weeks ago I was in Vermont . My sister was driving and I had to sit in the back seat because my mom jumped in the front and duly informed that she’s the oldest…

But since I know you’re going to require a more democratic solution…

You could just say only adults can sit in the front seats. That takes away all the “fair” issues.

Tell the girls they have to figure it out BEFORE they get to the car and if they haven’t agreed on who gets to sit in the front, everyone sits in the back. Make it their responsibility to negotiate it between the two of them rather than you having to solve the problem.

Jan.-June one child gets the front seat

July-Dec the other child gets the front seat

What ever you do, keep it as simple as possible or you’ll end up with having to keep track of who gets it next…"

Another dear friend says:

"My initial reaction was, oldest sits in front--that's life and really, it is one of the benefits of being older. When Caitlyn leaves home, then Allyson will be oldest. However, I thought a bit about it and I agree with Lisa --that sucks.

The girls are old enough that I would say no one sits in front until you two have come up with an agreement you both are okay with. It can be as simple or as complicated as they want. You can be the mediator, suggest some possible solutions, but let them decide. They can't argue with you if they are the ones who come up with the solution.

P.S. keep in mind I only have one child. Good Luck"

My Aunt Says:

"Dear Amy:
I would characterize Terry's response as one from an optimistic lawyer, mother of one, who thinks she's living in a democratic society when, in fact, much of life is about dictatorship. Oh, by the way - you may not be there yet but it's not just about the front seat, it's about window seats
as well. Here is my more ractical response, as the oldest of seven and having been through this too...

1. When we were kids Mom and Dad bought a pick-up truck and threw us all in the back. If we complained, they rolled up the windows and drove faster to muffle the noise. OK - I think seat belt laws probably preclude that, as well as the possibility of strapping them all onto a tow behind trailer, so...move on to number 2.

2. They could take turns riding in the front but that will become a
bookkeeping nightmare and claims of mishandling will undoubtedly result.

3. Leave those who argue at home and take only the quiet children in the car. (My personal preference.)

4. Sell the rights to sit in the front seat. I think the sky's the limit here. All sorts of chores could be accomplished at home and the birthday and holiday money the kids receive could be a nice supplement to your income. You'll want to give proper notice, having a meeting, put it out to bid - you know, do it democratically.

5. Allow Caitlyn to sit in the front sit until she turns 16 - then put her in the way-back. This will be inducement for her to get a job and purchase her own car so that she can ride in the front seat all the time (like Lisa). Then you would move Allyson up to the front, and so on, until they are all productive members of society.

No thanks necessary for the information and guidance."

Tricia said...

I think the last two ideas from your aunt are perfect!

ThisGrandma said...

I'm staying out of it - just tie me to the roof.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

We take turns. It hasn't ever been that big a deal. I think the oldest only thing only works if there's a big age spread.

Amy said...

My grandmother wanted to add the following ...

"Your Aunt told you quite a story. She was telling me about the front seat dilemma and we never went for a ride with the kids in the back of a pick-up actually they took turns in the front of a car and Pop would take them one or two at a time for just a short ride in the truck. We never ever went on an outing where we piled all the kids in the back, thats always been dangerous."